A Spade is a Spade

For those of you who may have never seen it, Tom Hanks was on SNL October of 2016 and gifted us with this gem:

Everyone could pass this off as Tom Hanks’s fantastic acting, but no, he further proved how down with the culture he is in this interview with Xilla Valentine. Of course, Tom Hanks is only part of why this story is blowing up. The other half is that Tom Hanks’s levity is sharply juxtaposed with Tim Allen’s salty ass:

We already know that Tim Allen is an asshole. He has no qualms with saying the n-word in his sets, which is basically the ONE THING black people ask white people NOT to do. He flubbed that, and then he flubbed this.

It’s cool that you don’t know how to play spades, Tim Allen. Really. Not even every single black person knows how to play spades. It’s not something we’re innately born with. (I personally feel like I at least have a soft pass on this one.)

What you’re not going to do though is act like a petulant child. You don’t have to be salty for not having a horse in the race. You could just shut your salty mouth and learn something.

You could have defaulted to Tom Hanks and feigned interest. Or you could have even tested how you can say the n-word with no malice in front of a real live black man and see how that would have turned out.

But no.

Tim Allen came across like every single conservative, white guy that I’ve ever seen whether in real life or on TV: dismissive, self-centered and petulant. You might not know what they’re talking about, but there were a million ways you could have made that funny. Isn’t that how you got big in the first place? You’re too old to be acting this way!

With the time we live in and the figurehead we have, I’m never surprised. I’m not even disappointed. It just provokes a grandiose sigh with an even bigger eye roll.

After this debacle, that little girl in Toy Story 4 better throw Buzz clear into the trash to give you a break to work on preventing hypertension.

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