Eat, Pray, Love… But Blacker

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything so deeply personal my life.

I want to start by saying thank you to all of you who read this. Seriously! I know it sounds hokey as hell, but I really, truly am grateful. If I could send you all a fresh baked cupcake and a giant hug, I would, but I certainly hope my words touch you in a similar way.

I’ve been teasing for a while about something that I wanted to share with you guys, but I feel like it takes some back story.

jonstewart
Well strap in, babycakes!

Since December 2017, my life has been wild. It’s been a continuous upheaval. A lot of really awesome shit happened, but a lot of devastating shit happened too. I met an idol of mine. My dad passed soon after. I decided between the inspiration and the devastation to change my life. I got a new job. I started writing for a website that paid me. I started doing a shit ton of yoga. It felt like everything reached a sort of stasis. A new normal.

Then at the beginning of this year, my roommate announced he didn’t want to renew our lease to move on to greener pastures.

All things considered, I had upgraded my life for the better. I had a job that paid better than my last along with a side hustle. I was self sufficient.

I was also unhappy.

Gainesville is one of those places that really makes you feel the change of the seasons because it’s a college town. During the Fall semester and Spring semester, the town is teeming with life and events. In the summer time, everything is silent and so slow it feels like time is crawling. It works like a clock.

groundhog.gif
Replace ‘Groundhog Day’ with ‘Fall Semester’ and you’re in Gainesville!

I thought that I could go through the cycle again, as I’ve been doing for many years now. Keep the job I was starting to dislike. Come to resent said job. Resent myself for keeping it for too long. Maybe meet somebody. I started thinking about looking for places, but I didn’t find myself committed on the idea for some reason.

Then in March I got into a car accident.

I was T-boned while turning at an intersection. No one was with me, thankfully.

I blacked out as my body slammed against the driver side door and when I opened my eyes, I saw the grill of a much larger truck and I thought, “This is it.”

But it wasn’t it. My car spun around upon being hit and the truck stopped the momentum. I was alive, and I walked away from the wreckage with nothing more than a scratch on my ankle. I am so thankful and so blessed because that event gave me a very sincere thought.

“Wow, I almost died doing something I hated in a town that I’m lukewarm about.”

omg
This is the closest I could find to my face, but imagine more crying.

Instead of going for another apartment and repeating the cycle I’ve finally decided to leave. I’ve wanted to leave for a while, but that really cemented it for me. I haven’t doubted myself for a second that this is absolutely the right move for me.

Starting in August, I’m going to be a nomad for a while. I’ve decided to see and stay for a moment in those places I’ve always wanted to see. Visit those friends I haven’t seen since college.

I’m as excited for the same reasons that I’m filled with anxiety because this is truly a foray into the unknown.

My journey is a journey of the heart and along the way I hope to find nothing but love along the way.

For now, I have one week left at my current job and I’m throwing my stuff in storage to prepare to leave for Atlanta at the end of the month.

I still plan on updating this blog regularly. Until I say otherwise, I’ll be here Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I may add a bonus day on Tuesday to highlight my travels. I’ll also do a live on Instagram on Thursdays.

So wish me luck and stay tuned!

adventure!

10 comments

  1. Hi there! I wish you all the best on your journey. I kinda related to this particularly about the roommates and jobs you hated. BUT you’re going to LOVE Atlanta! I went to school there and it is truly my happy place. Living there made me a better person I think. I used to live in Savannah, GA and was hating life. Best of luck and I love the title. (We need more black stories like this!)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As usual, I thoroughly enjoyed your writing. The honesty, humor and transparency is refreshing and in this case, particularly thought-provoking. I wish you well on your journey and invite you to say hello when you make it to Atlanta – I’m here! Be well Kira!

    Liked by 1 person

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