I Really Hope “Raiding Area 51” Is Code For Another Cause

Alright, for those of you not as plugged into the internet as I am, there was a Facebook Event that picked up steam about ‘raiding Area 51’ to ‘see them aliens’. By verbiage in the description (“if we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets”) and the nature of internet humor, it’s clearly a joke.

Of course, it’s all fun until the actual US Air Force becomes concerned and says, “Listen, we have armed guards if you actually try this shit.”

Which if they had read the description, they would know that the creators of said group are aware of the risk as well. The plan is to Naruto run through the bullets. Can you even read, bro?

At the time of writing this, 1.4 million people have joined the Facebook group. A few celebrities even used various social media to give their blessing and say, “Hell yeah, let’s see them aliens!”

But what if this isn’t about aliens at all? I have a theory.

Follow me for a second.

There’s a lot of depressing shit going on in the news right now. The internet is really good at bringing about obscure humor in time when we need it most. After all, laughter is the best remedy in tense situations.

And OH BOY are there tense situations.

Climate change. Trump is STILL the president of the United States in spite of SO. MANY. MISCONDUCTS. Immigrants are being rounded up for literal concentration camps.

What’s another word people use for immigrants?


What if this whole thing is really just a distraction? While everyone is busy laughing at a bunch of perceived idiots on the internet, what if a coup is at hand?

What if when September 20th comes around (the date of the alleged raid), the military squares up at Area 51? While they’re waiting there anticipating the arrival of millions, everyone who is part of this event storms the concentration camps instead? What if said millions help all of the immigrants that haven’t been able to shower in 40+ days living in abysmal conditions?

What if the Area 51 Raiders are so psyched up on Monster Energy and Flaming Hot Cheetos that they punch out a few ICE agents on the way while on a rescue mission?

What if the ‘alien friends’ the internet is so eager to make are in fact immigrants?

Trust me, my arms are sore from this reach too, but how bad ass would it be if this actually happened? What if everyone had this ‘they can’t get all of us’ mentality for a worthy cause – one that involved human lives that we know are in crisis right now?

Like I’ve said before, I really want to believe in the best in people. I’m a sunny optimist which is my double edged sword to bear, but I would love to think that a group of people are sitting around strategically planning to redirect their efforts on a deep underground web somewhere including (but certainly not limited to):

A punk ass hacker with a vape pen rabble-rousing on social media while letting everyone know what’s REALLY up.

A group of ex-military strategists with moles everywhere.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

It sounds way too wild to be true.

Then again, if this humble blogger did accidentally expose you, I deeply apologize.


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