Fuck It.

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I noticed a lot more people are looking at this thanks to the article that I wrote! I’m definitely reveling in this personal victory but I know that I can’t stay in this revelry for too long when there’s more work to be done.

There’s been an accumulation of things that have led me to lead my life in a much more bold way. I’ll try to share them as succinctly as I can and hopefully inspire in the process.

Without going into too much detail – though I very well may later – I went on a date with an idol of mine. Then, ten days later my Dad died.

There’s no good way to explain the whirlwind of emotions that I experienced from both of these things happening so closely, but something about experiencing euphoria followed by heartbreaking, soul-crushing sadness tends to make your emotions shut down. When they come back you’re not exactly the same person.

Not in a bad way. You’re just not the same.

Something about experiencing the best and worst things left me in a state of chaos. If we were charting this by D&D standards I went from somewhere in the ‘good’ territory to chaotic neutral. Nothing felt real. Nothing felt right. And suddenly I had a powerful thought.

‘Fuck it.’

I met someone who seemed statistically fucking impossible for me to meet. For whatever reason, my dad left the mortal coil out of the blue.

‘Fuck it’ may have started from a hurt place, but ‘fuck it’ evolved into a mantra. A powerful decision. Fuck it started to change my life.

I had been asking myself leading up to these events, “What are you going to do with your life?”

Then I remembered how much I loved writing and started this blog.

I started writing and writing and writing. I got paid for an article. I didn’t even think I had a shot of being considered, but fuck it. I tried.

After all, if Trump can be president, I can be a fucking writer.

I don’t know where this journey is going to take me, but fuck it. The one consistency I’ve had in the chaos of life has always been and probably will always be me coming back to pen and paper, or the clickety-clack of keys and watching my thoughts manifest.

It’s not just articles. It’s not just this blog. I write. It’s just what I do. Because fuck it. I love it. I would love it if I weren’t being watched. I would love it for the sake of itself. And I can’t wait to see where it will take me.

So fuck it, here’s to getting out of my own way and watching amazing shit happen. Here’s to the start of something new.

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