When I was still a teenager, my mom said something that to this day, I will never forget: Sex isn’t THAT big of a deal… but it’s kind of a big deal.
And my teenage, virgin self looked at her much like when a dog hears a high pitch noise, because what does that even mean, mom?!
As a woman, I get that sentiment now, but I’ll make it more simple and it might change the lives of some of you reading this. Here it goes:
Whoever you are with, whoever that individual is, you gotta want to fuck them. Point blank. Period.
A lot of people will give enthusiastic nods to this, but I’ve also received push back because sex isn’t everything. There are other things that are great about the person you’re with. They’re nice. They’re driven. They save you the last bite of dessert no matter what. They’re a good parent. A good spouse.
But you gotta want to fuck them.
When you don’t want to fuck them, that’s when problems start, because sex isn’t a big deal until it is.
Maybe it just hasn’t happened for you in a while. Life happens, you’re stressed out, your boss is being a dick, you’re starting a PhD program, maybe it’s not even the other person, but YOU don’t feel sexy anymore.
But life aside, when you look over to that person that you’ve chosen to be with and they give you the booty look, are you down? Would you still fuck that person? Then, great!
If the thought turns you all the way off, it’s probably time to cut your losses.
The person can be nice, they can be everything awesome in the world, but do they want to have sex with you? Do you want to have sex with them? If this is a one way street, the other person is bound to get bitter and it’s going to cause problems.
Because sex isn’t a big deal… until it becomes a big deal.
As someone single, this is a precursor to whoever I’m going on a date with.
“Would I actually want to fuck this person? Cool! Now, what else do they have going on?”
Sex shouldn’t be the cornerstone of the relationship. It’s NOT everything. However, it’s still part of it. If you’re a sex-wanting, sex-having person, then sex is going to come into the equation of your life.
Might as well find someone that’s worth coming home for.